


Tainted with Trauma

by ella_granger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29538378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ella_granger/pseuds/ella_granger
Summary: Divided by four houses, four pupils live at Hogwarts after the war, tainted with their trauma. Draco is an ex-death eater, Hermione's the 'Golden Girl' haunted by the past, Evelyn's a mystery and Alexander is his family's greatest shame. Exchanging secrets and tongues, the tension rises and only 3 will make it in the end...
Relationships: Evelyn Whittle/Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy





	1. Chapter 1

Draco

Draco opened his eyes and was immediately hit with a sharp headache that drilled into his skull. His eyes were fuzzy and when they adjusted properly he immediately closed them as the light stabbed his iris.

He let out a grunt and rolled onto his side, burrowing his head in the satin sheets. He could feel the warmth trapped between the sheets contrasting the cold air circulation in his room. He wanted to stay there forever.

He'd been out all of last night drinking with Theo and Blaise, that was all he could remember. He knew they'd been in one of Hogwarts passages which him and his fellow Slytherins escaped to, mainly to drink.

The passage they'd chosen wasn't one they'd usually go to as a lot of them had been boarded up after the war. They went behind one statue right by the entrance to the dungeons where there was a corridor.

The corridor was lit by lanterns and there was a cold stone floor. It wasn't the most ideal place but it would do.

He normally liked to stay in control but he didn't mind that he'd blacked out seeing as Lucius had sent him a letter from Azkaban.

Draco had read the first paragraph and immediately set it on fire. His father was pathetic and he couldn't believe he still had his arrogance. He wrote to his son about his expectations in messy handwriting that Draco could barely make out.

His fucking expectations for a Malfoy, as if the fucking prick was concerned about pureblood expectations and the image of their family.

The same image that has been shattered after the war, after Lucius had kissed the Dark Lord's arse and begged to be his right-hand man. After Draco, himself had almost killed his headteacher, one of the most powerful and loved wizards of all time.

What fucking image was there left to preserve? Their family was a mess, broken and scarred.

Blaise and Theo were always up to get pissed, they both had their own trauma they wanted to forget. Draco just needed to forget about Lucius and everything for one night.

They grabbed their stash of firewhiskey and some muggle vodka that Blaise had bought in London.

Draco was embarrassed to admit that he liked anything muggle, well his default setting was but after the war, his perspective shifted a bit. The stuff sure did get you completely pissed so he wasn't complaining.

The effects of all the alcohol had hit him like a bludger this morning, his whole body ached and he couldn't be arsed to go to lessons.

With everything that happened in the war, he was lucky to even be at Hogwarts and not rotting in a cell. He hadn't gotten away with nothing, he and a few other Slytherins were on probation and had to be very careful not to step out of line.

One word from the headmistress McGonagall and he would be shipped off to join his father.

It was only the second week of term so he was adjusting to the shit hole, he'd missed most of the seventh year. Any students who wanted to retake their seventh year could, seeing as many had been tortured instead of learning anything.

Most of them did, apart from Saint Potter who was in Auror training on early acceptance. He'd been given an Order Of Merlin which basically guaranteed his future.

Draco still hated him and bloody Weasel but he couldn't deny the fact they both deserved it.

Of course the princess Hermione Granger had stayed to take every single class and score 100% in her NEWTS.

Draco had seen a lot more of her than he wanted, seeing as they were both prefects. Every time he looked at her he was taken back to her lying on his dining room floor screaming as his aunt tortured her.

He stood there and did nothing and he would regret that forever. Even with all the guilt, she was still Granger and he did not like her one bit.

He hated her with every ounce of his being.

He thought she was a shoo-in for head girl but apparently, she couldn't take the pressure so she suggested Weasalette.

Draco looked at his clock to see it was 8:15, charms were at 8:45 so he knew he had to get up.

As soon as he pulled back his duvet and stood up, the cold air pierced him like a thousand knives and his hangover hit even harder. He ran to the toilet to throw up.

The perks of being given the prefect title gave him his own room with an en-suite. He leaned over the toilet and closed his eyes, if his father could see him now, oh he would have a fit.

Draco wiped his mouth and smirked, he had so much rage towards his father and took pleasure in the thought of pissing him off.

He looked at himself in the mirror and inspected his reflection. He'd had a growth spurt during the war, he'd also gained a lot of muscle. He found comfort in working out and putting himself in pain. It helped with all the guilt.

His skin was still pale, eyes still grey orbs, they reminded him of Lucius every time he saw them. A constant reminder that he was similar to his father.

His Dark Mark was faded but still visible, especially since he'd given himself scars by trying to get rid of it. It still itched and burned, Draco found satisfaction that he was being punished every day.

After looking at the mirror he pulled off his ivy PJ bottoms and pants and turned on the shower with his wand. He turned the temperature all the way up and let the boiling water burn his skin.

The water rushed over his body, cleansing him of the smell of alcohol. He watched as the water raced down his skin, touching every crevice and every part of him. He ran his hands through his hair and leaned his head back. He let out a sigh before shampooing his hair and washing his body.

He climbed out of the shower, dried his hair with a charm, and slipped his robes on. They felt so stiff and itchy, he hated them.

Narcissa had forced him to go to Diagon Alley and get his supplies for school. His mother wanted to have some normality.

As they walked along the street and wandered around the shops they'd been glared at the whole time. Parents grabbing their children's arms and shielding them as if he was going to hex someone at any moment.

It was ridiculous and Draco had sneered at one man who had barged past him, knocking his shoulder.

His mother kept up her appearance, giving out forced smiles and acting in a respectable manner. He didn't know how she did it, her husband was in Azkaban, her son was a failure on both sides of the war and she was hated for no reason by the whole country.

Narcissa had never got the dark mark and technically wasn't a DeathEater, she had been on the side of the Dark Lord but as far as Draco knew she hadn't actually taken part in anything. She had been tainted by Lucius and would forever be seen as a DeathEater.

Draco knew his mother was never committed to the Dark Lord, she definitely held the pureblood ideals and had been part of that community her whole life. Narcissa was more concerned for her family and just did what was right for Draco.

He knew she had protected him, she had gotten Snape to make the unbreakable bond, she had protected him from Lucius where she could and she had stuck by the Dark Lord to provide Draco safety.

Now she was suffering the consequences and would forever.

Narcissa had been affected by the war and she was now alone with no one to look after her.

Draco hated this because he had done this to her and he didn't know how to fix it.

His clock now said 8:40 so Draco grabbed an apple from his table and made his way along the corridors and to Charms.

Hermione

Hermione's eyes fluttered as she was woken up by her alarm clock, sunlight hit her eyes and a golden glow danced around the room. She let out a huge yawn and climbed out of bed.

It was 5 am and this was the time she got up every morning. The days were never long enough as it is without getting up early. She was taking every class possible and without her time-turner, which she had mistakenly given to the ministry, she had an endless list of work.

There was so much gossip around her return to Hogwarts, her name had been in The Prophet more times than she could remember.

Everyone seemed to have come up with their own ideas of why she came back and no one thought it was rational that she just wanted to complete her education. It was ridiculous.

Hermione was finding it quite difficult as everyone seemed to back to normal like nothing bad had happened. Everything was carrying on the same way it had before the war.

She couldn't go back to normal though, it was impossible. She was changed, the war had changed her. The trauma had changed her, the loss, the pain, the scars.

She walked into her bathroom and stared in the mirror, letting out an involuntary giggle. Her hair was like a giant bird's nest, all tangled and frizzy. Grabbing her wand she cast a nonverbal taming charm and it all fell into defined waves.

Much better.

Hermione splashed her face with cold water then began to brush her teeth. After she finished she started to apply some mascara, blush, and lip gloss.

She was at least trying to make an effort, it didn't really matter to her but all the girls were older now and seemed to be concerned with this sort of thing.

Even though there were easy magical ways to do all of this, she found comfort in doing everything the muggle way. She felt connected to her parents.

Hermione didn't want to think about her parents, not at all. It hurt too much. If she started to she would crumble and there would be no coming back from that. She would do things the muggle way and that was as close to them as she would go.

After putting on a pair of leggings and an oversized crimson hoodie she gathered her Charms books and headed to the library. The castle was quiet and she loved it. It was so peaceful and isolated.

They'd done a fine job of rebuilding the castle, it looked just like before. As Hermione walked along its corridors and down its steps she couldn't help but have flashbacks.

When she passed one spot on the second floor she saw Lavender Brown's body with Fenrir Greyback over her body. She blinked and they disappeared but she felt a chill vibrate over her whole body. She felt cold.

Despite not having liked Lavender in their fourth year because of her relationship with Ron, she was just a young girl and had so much to look forward to. There was so much more she deserved, things she should have experienced.

Thinking back about her jealousy was almost laughable now. Her and Ron hadn't worked out. They tried as it seemed like it was always meant to happen but they just didn't fit. He was her family but in a brotherly way. Ron wanted it more than Hermione and she felt a bit guilty but at the same time, they were a round peg and a square hole.

On her way down the stairs down to the first floor Hermione glanced over at the wall, she saw it being blown up and a boy who she didn't know flew back. She stepped back to avoid him but she misplaced her step.

Hermione's foot wobbled and she felt her ankle twist as she fell to the stairs, crashing down against the cold stone stairs and ending up about 5 steps down from where she was. Pain seared through her foot and ankle.

She wanted to cry, she wanted to let out a yelp or react in some way but she just let the pain consume her, let it wash over her. She was in a heap on the steps and remained there for a couple of minutes.

Her mind was blank and all she could feel was the pain, she let it take her focus.

Once she realised what had happened and it dawned on her that she was wasting her precious study time, Hermione got up and put her weight on both feet. As soon as she did that the pain immediately shot up through her leg and she bit her lip.

One of the paintings looked at her sympathetically, as soon as she saw that, she marched down to the library. She was Hermione freaking Granger and she would not accept any pity. She didn't need pity and she didn't want any.

I'm fine.

Madam Pince was sitting behind her desk reading what seemed to be a very old book. She glanced over at Hermione, gave her a quick smile, and carried on reading.

Hermione walked over to the back of the Library and sat down at her desk. Well, it wasn't her desk but it was the desk she always went to when she wanted to just get on with work. A lot of people (RONALD WEASLEY) decided the library was a social area and at the back, it was quieter.

It was now 5:45 and Hermione had 3 hours before Charms started. She opened her Charms book to the chapter about non-verbal spells. She was quite excited, no, very excited about this topic.

Hermione had already taught herself a few non-verbal charms such as a shielding charm. They were one of her favorite kinds of spells and extremely useful.

She was the first one in her DADA class to perform nonverbal magic successfully.

The hours rushed by, it felt like the time just slipped through her fingers. Hermione had managed to make lots of notes and cast a few shielding spells but there was so much left to do. She liked to be well versed in the content so she was just refining everything in lessons.

Hermione saw that it was now 8:40 and panic hit her like a brick. She couldn't be late, absolutely not. She gathered all of her papers and books and rushed out of the library. She was practically running down the corridors.

Her ankle was killing her now, she'd definitely twisted it badly and probably shouldn't be walking as quickly as she was but she was already going to be late. She would have to deal with it later.

Hermione hadn't eaten breakfast this morning, in fact, most mornings she found she was far too stressed and anxious to eat. She just felt way too sick to stomach any food.

As she rushed down the corridor she began to feel light-headed, it was probably a mixture of pain and hunger. She quickly realised she hadn't even had a glass of water. She would conjure a glass in Charms.

The dizziness got worse and worse as she walked down the corridor, most people were in lessons by now. Her eyesight started to go blurry and then she felt herself crash into someone.

Their body was rock solid and she fell to the ground as they fell, landing on top of them with her belongings scattered and her and this mystery person tangled together.

She could just see black and she felt so much pain, her head throbbed and she was aching. Hermione just wanted to be sick. This was a disaster she was going to be so late and now someone was going...

"What the fuck?"

Her thoughts were abruptly stopped by a voice, it almost growled at her. She started to panic. She recognised that voice but she couldn't quite place it just yet. Her eyes were still closed and neither person moved, probably both just dazed.

"Granger?! You fucking klutz get up right now."

"NOW"

They pushed her, trying to get her off of them. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was. Draco Malfoy.

Hermione opened her eyes to find them looking at his chest. She quickly rolled onto her side and lay on the floor. She knew she couldn't get up, she was in too much pain but she did not want to be near Malfoy let alone on top of him.

Her body had only just managed to roll over but now it was frozen, a single tear rolled down her cheek and that was mortifying in itself.

Hermione could see Malfoy getting up and picking up his bag. He looked like he was going to leave which is what she'd hoped for but then he looked at her with confusion.

"Granger what the fuck are you doing? Why are you just lying there... wait are you crying?"

She left out a sigh and looked up at him.

"I'm lying on the floor because I'm in pain and no I'm not crying it's just one tear."

He gave her a sneer and rolled his eyes. Hermione was then surprised that she was being pulled up by Malfoy and he was supporting her body as he must have felt it go limp. She hadn't expected this and she yelped when he was about to let go.

"What Granger? Why are you making that noise, it wasn't that big of a fall you over dramatic bitch"

She watched as he let out a chuckle but then he froze.

"Shit Granger, shit. You look awful, you're so pale. I think your ill"

Hermione didn't know what to do, at least he didn't look at her with pity but he was Draco Malfoy so why would he? He hated her.

"Granger talk to me, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Hermione couldn't tell if he was concerned or annoyed. She wanted to make a sarcastic comment or say something witty but she felt too ill and the pain was so bad.

She looked up at his eyes and hoped he got her plea for help.

"Granger I think you need to go to the infirmary, like now"

Hermione analysed his face, she could tell Malfoy was getting concerned but she didn't know why. Why would he care about her? He surely didn't care to help when Bellatrix had tortured her in front of him.

"Malfoy I'm fine, I need to go to class"

He raised his eyebrows at her as she tried to walk away. She took about 2 steps before stumbling and landing on the ground again.

Hermione was embarrassed but determined to get to class. She was about to get up when she heard him laughing.

"Well that was pathetic"

She turned her head round and glared at him.

"Shut up, I..."

She felt the nausea come from nowhere and she felt herself being sick. She threw up on the floor, lying in a heap with Draco Malfoy watching her. It was horrific.

Once it stopped she wiped her mouth with her hand and looked over at Malfoy. He looked completely shocked and walked towards her.

"I'm taking you to the infirmary"

He grabbed her arms and yanked her up, throwing one of her arms over his shoulder. Hermione felt so ill so didn't resist but she was very confused why he was helping her.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy take your hands off me right now, I don't need your help"

He laughed again. It made her blood boil, he was so infuriating. Why was he constantly laughing at her, patronising her. He was a complete arse.

"Don't worry darling I don't bite, at least not in public"

Hermione felt even more sick and suddenly her anger soared.

"I'm not the least bit worried, you are far less advanced than me. I don't need your help so get off me right now and leave me alone you dickhead!"

She watched as his face turned darker, she was a little worried by this. She tried to get free of him but he gripped her waist harder, his nails digging in deeper. It hurt.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm only helping you cause I don't need someone to find you in this state and somehow manage to blame the fucking mudblood tragedy on me. Quit your fucking temper tantrum or i won't hesitate to stupefy you."

Hermione's heart sank, it still cut deep when he called her a mudblood. She knew she should expect it but he hadn't said it in so long. She thought she wouldn't have to hear those words again.

She let him hold her waist, she let her arm rest over his shoulder and she walked along the corridor alongside him in complete silence.

They walked over to the infirmary, Hermione listened as Malfoy let out a sigh every time she stumbled. She wanted to punch him, just like in third year but her head was foggy and she felt limp.

Madam Pomfrey approached them quickly as they entered, giving suspicious glances at Malfoy. Hermione hoped she would send him away but she ignored him and looked at her.

"Hermione dear what's wrong? You look ever so pale and you seem to be weak! Is that sick around your mouth? Malfoy take her to a bed."

Hermione watched him hesitate.

"Now Mr Malfoy!"

Then Hermione was picked up by Malfoy. She should have protested, hit him, got angry but she was too tired.

As she was thrown onto the bed, no slammed onto the bed she let herself collapse. She barely noticed Madam Pomfrey scolding Malfoy for throwing her. She was then examined while Malfoy was told to wait with her. Hermione was asked a few questions about her diet and her sleep.

Hermione was so exhausted so Malfoy was asked about what happened when he found her. She zoned out and glanced at the window.

"It seems you are just a bit overworked Miss Granger, you haven't been looking after yourself and have put too much pressure on yourself. I'll give you a few nutrition potions and you should sleep for a bit."

Hermione nodded and drank the potion that was brought to her, it tasted vile like a burnt cabbage or one of Hagrid's cakes.

Her eyes glanced at Malfoy who was standing there impatiently and looking angry. How could he be angry when she hadn't asked for his help?

"I'll just go now then, thanks for making me later Granger"

He snarled at her.

"Oh no Mr Malfoy you'll be sitting with Miss Granger. I have some very ill patients and it's only me here today. Do some work while she sleeps and if she needs something help her, it'll do you some good to help someone. I'll owl McGonagall to let her know."

Hermione glared at him. He was the last person she wanted looking after her.

"Umm I really don't think that's necessary"

Hermione tried to stand her ground but Madam Pomfrey wasn't having it.

"Go to sleep please Hermione"

Hermione rolled her eyes and Malfoy sat down on the chair beside her. He looked so angry and she was a little worried he might smother her with a pillow in her sleep.

This should be interesting...


	2. Chapter 2

_**TW: Suicidal thoughts** _

_**Chapter 2** _

_**Draco** _

Draco was furious. He was having to resist the urge to blow something up, or Granger. The anger bubbled inside of only getting hotter and hotter. It spread throughout his entire body. He had found the pathetic mudblood in a complete state, Salazar she'd even been sick. He'd thrown up this morning as well but he was hungover and he highly doubted this was the same for Granger.

She was Granger after all.

Now for some bizarre reason, Madam Pomfrey had forced him to stay and watch over Granger. He would have just ignored her but his fucking parol was the only thing making him behave. Granger was asleep on the bed, well she was just resting because she kept seeing her sneak glances at him, she definitely thought he was going to kill her or something. He wished he could.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do, he wasn't going to sit there and do any work, it wasn't like he needed to. His grades were fine and he wasn't about to bore himself for however long the princess needed to rest.

He couldn't believe she was here because of stress, everyone was stressed, they were in their final year with exams coming up and futures to decide. The poor bitch couldn't even cope with a tiny bit of pressure when the previous year she'd literally fought in a war. What the fuck?!

Draco wanted to tease her, insult her or fucking say something but he couldn't. When he looked at her she looked so small and vulnerable. He felt like he would be taking advantage of her, it felt like she was a first-year and he wasn't going to start something with someone who couldn't handle him.

His view on muggle-borns had shifted a bit, after having the fucking snake and DeathEaters living in his house he realised how ridiculous they sounded. There was no doubt that purebloods were superior, magical blood ran through his family. Draco had realised that people shouldn't be tortured because of their blood status, that was obvious. He still hated Granger though and that wasn't just because of her blood status.

Granger was obnoxious, a know-it-all, loud, and just fucking annoying. She thought she was so much better than everyone else, that she was owed something by everyone and he couldn't fucking stand the bitch. Draco felt disgusted that her pathetic arm had been wrapped on his shoulder, he didn't want to touch her. She was fucking repulsive.

It had been about half an hour and Draco was reading Advanced Potion-Making which was a book required for the sixth year. He hadn't really gotten a chance to continue his traditional studies in-between meetings and missions. The book was pretty fucking boring and he would rather be practising making the actual potions or be in Charms right now but no he had to sit beside Granger.

After finishing the first 4 chapters he was fed up and completely bored out of his mind. Looking over at Granger he saw she was so peaceful and he wanted to do something about that. Draco racked his brain for a spell to cast, he couldn't do anything too risky although he would have loved to crucio her. Then it clicked, he knew what he was gonna do.

"Levicorpus"

Draco whispered the spell and Granger's body was levitated by her ankles. Her eyes shot open and she gasped. He lifted her up so her head was a couple of feet above the bed. He knew she was too weak to cast any wandless magic and he was confident she was under his control.

"Arghhhh! What...t, Malfoy put me down! I SWEAR I WILL HEX YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH IF YOU DON'T PUT ME DOWN!"

Malfoy smirked, she was brassed and he loved the helpless but angry look on her face. He simply looked back down at his book and kept his wand steady, keeping her in the air. He wiggled it slightly and watched the witch getting flustered as she tried to keep her robes down and not expose herself.

"MALFOY YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER ARSE, PUT ME DOWN NOW!!!"

Draco gasped and gave an overdramatic look of shock. "Granger, how could you say that to me? I'm so hurt" He started to laugh and her face grew angrier and angrier. Her eyebrows furrowed and her teeth bit down hard on her lip. It was positively delightful. Granger was struggling to keep her modesty as gravity was pulling her robes down, he had no intention of seeing whatever granny knickers she had on but found it hilarious she was getting so flustered.

"ARGH YOU ARSE, PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!!!"

He couldn't help it and he started laughing so hard it hurt, she was pathetic. Her eyes looked like they were glazed over like she was going to cry.

"Language Granger! Only if you use your manners"

Draco watched as she looked like she wanted to hex him, her face was laced with anger and now her cheeks were matching her house colours. He took a mental photo to remember this look.

"MY MANNERS?! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU'LL REGRET IT IF YOU DON"T PUT ME DOWN NOWWWWW"

Draco looked up at her and her eyes almost let out a warning like she was trying to threaten him, he knew he wasn't going to back down.

"You'll have to use your manners princess if you want to get down"

He gave her a smirk and raised his eyebrows at her.

"FINE, MALFOY PLEASE PUT ME DOWN"

Why did she have to fucking shout all the time, he paused for a moment and looked at her eyes. Their eyes locked and something felt off, he felt some sort of energy exchange between them, it was weird. He sharply pointed his wand at the bed and she fell onto it, well crashed onto it.

Her hair was all tangled and messed up her robes and up and in the wrong places. Draco watched as she quickly got herself together and gave him a threatening look. Before he could react she grabbed her wand and cast a spell.

A purple-ish red light flew out her wand and hit him, he immediately flew back and smashed against the wall. It fucking hurt like hell and he thought he was gonna be knocked out. He lay in a heap on the floor, his head felt wet and he knew he started bleeding. Fuck it he thought, I'll just join my beloved father. It'll be worth it after I kill Granger. Draco was about to pull himself up when he heard someone walking towards him.

He opened his eyes to see Granger looking worried and staring at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't realise how powerful the spell would be, I guess you deserved it. Now it's my turn to help you up."

Draco rolled his eyes and then was shocked to find she actually pulled him up. He winced as her hand touched him. They were so small and he could feel all the bones in them. She was so light that her pulling him didn't help much but it did force him to his feet. Once he stood up he snarled at her and grabbed onto both of her wrists, pressing down tightly and keeping her still with only his arms. Her eyes widened and she looked in shock, it would have been amusing but right now he just felt rage.

"Don't fucking touch me ever again, you filthy pathetic mudblood. I don't want any part of you on my body, it's disgusting."

Draco gripped tighter, it felt like he would snap her wrists off at any moment. He looked down at them and noticed the mudblood scar his aunt had given her in the Manor.

"Looks like you've been labelled correctly, at least you'll always know that you don't belong and you never will."

He watched as she glanced down at the scar and bit her lip, she looked so sad like his words had hurt her. He felt a small ache in his chest which he quickly pushed away. He let go of her and turned to exit the door.

"Draco"

His head snapped back around, she had no fucking right to call him that. They weren't friends and would never be.

"You will never speak to me like that ever again. My blood may not be pure in your mind but I'm one of the brightest witches our age and you'll never admit that because it hurts to know a muggle-born was better than you, I'm sure your father reminded you of that a lot. You know you are similar to him, ever so similar. Weak, pathetic, and a waste of magical blood. You may think you're better than me but in-fact you and your father are nothing. You will never be accepted ever again by anyone. You deserve to be sent to Azkaban, I could arrange that but I won't. I'd rather you suffer staying in a place every day where no one truly likes you, no one cares. You will always be an outsider and you will always be a monster. I pity you."

Draco was in complete and utter shock. He'd never heard Granger speak to anyone like this, he'd never been spoken to like this. It cut deep because deep down he was lost. He had never belonged, he wasn't good enough for his father. He wasn't good enough for the Dark Lord, he wasn't even good enough to be at Hogwarts right now. He didn't belong anywhere and he never fit in.

She had pointed out everything he hoped he would never be, especially his father. He hated him and wanted to be nothing like him but he now realised he was the same. That killed him. It fucking hurt like hell. And she stood there proud with a smirk on his face. Draco turned and walked out of the infirmary. With every step, he felt weaker and weaker. His heart hurt, he could feel it in his chest.

His mind was aching, memories of moments played back over and over. The points in his life, the countless occasions where he had failed, he'd been weak. Each time he remembered something it was like a small paper cut and he was covered, he was bleeding and with each cut, he lost his energy more and more.

He was a failure. Pathetic Weak Nothing His father had been right all this time, he was weak. He was a disappointment and he was a waste of space. Nothing he did was ever right because everything he did was driven by fear not fight.

His pace quickened and he was running. Running down the corridors, shoving anyone out his way. He ran up the stairs, fists clenched and nails digging into his palms. He reached his destination. He was at the astronomy tower and gripping onto the bannister at the edge.

"IM DONE. IM FUCKING DONE. I'M NOT EVEN ANGRY ANYMORE I'M JUST IN PAIN. IT HURTS, IT FUCKING HURTS LIKE HELL, LIKE IM BEING SET ON FIRE LIKE IM BEING KILLED OVER AND OVER AGAIN."

Draco began to sweat, he wanted to jump. He wanted this all to end and the worst part was he knew nothing would change if he was gone. He wasn't strong enough to carry on. He couldn't. Every bit of energy holding him up disappeared. He crumbled. He was laying on the floor and started to cry, the tears just kept falling and his body burned.

"Draco?! Draco what's the matter, are you hurt? You weren't in lessons and I thought you might be ill. Draco? Can you hear me? DRACO"

Draco heard her voice, he knew she cared. He knew she cared and she shouldn't, she was better off without him. He couldn't find it in him to respond so he just lay there.

"Draco hush, it's going to be okay. I'm here okay? I'm not going anywhere, I promise. You're not alone."

Her warm arms wrapped around his body. She was lying down beside him and stroking him, holding him. He needed her, she was keeping him strong and he was glad she was here. It started to feel better. He tried to collect her warmth and steal her energy but he couldn't, the comfort was temporary, and as soon as she let go the wave of sorrow would crash over him.

HELP

But his plea was silent, no one could hear him and no one could help.


End file.
